i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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