Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
