i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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