like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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