But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
