dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
