But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
