Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
