Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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