Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize