i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
