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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like rub my face on his abs

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need help

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee

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• (727): View more from Florida

  We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.

  (727): View more from Florida

  Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.

  (812): View more from Indiana

  That makes no sense, but good luck

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