do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I am naked and annoyed.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
