All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
