Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
