i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
