Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
