Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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