If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
be right there i have to get my cape
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
