My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
