you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
