Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
A+ Viking dick
I want a musical about memes.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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