just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
