Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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