Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
