Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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