Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
There's always time for handjobs
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
