do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize