she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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