And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
