Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
