I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
