How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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