I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize