Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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