He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
