be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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