At least make sure they are 18
Why
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
