I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
You smell like stripper and shame
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
