next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
