I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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