Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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