Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
