Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
