I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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