So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
