She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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