I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
