You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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