I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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