Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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