That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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