A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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