Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
