what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
whose parrot is this?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
