Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
