Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize