he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
