No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
