i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
