drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
