Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
