Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Randomize
