kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm bleeding and have questions
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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