she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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