people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
