That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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