I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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