She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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