You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
